You know what? Strange thing has happened to me few times. Several of my friends (girls) told me that if they were guys they would immediately date me. Or another friend (girl) told me that if I was lesbian and if she was lesbian, that she would want me. And another friend (girl) told me she wished to find a guy who would be like me.
I don't get it. My female friends see me as a nice person. Even as a dating material you might say. But WHY, WHY is it only girls who see it? I must be doing something wrong. I just don't know what it is. Fuck. FUCK.

i would love to make films

I'm going to uni from september. So, right now I'm freaking out because I can't choose what I want to do in future. However, the most probable option right now seems to be International Relations or Journalism Course. My dad isn't really excited about my choices. He doesn't believe in diplomacy or politics really. I understand him, I really do. People don't trust politicians. Why should they, right? It all seems to be so corrupted. That's why I want to do politis (or journalism) on international basis. I believe there is still some hope that things can be changed. In a good way.
So, this afternoon, we were just chatting about these little everyday things and he told me he listened to a radio interview with a female diplomat. This is his way how to be supportive, telling me little things like these. I like it :)
After a while I told him (as I know he's not happiest with my choice but respects it): "Dad, I would really love to just make movies. But I'm afraid I couldn't do it for living." And he replied: "Why not?"
Isn't it nice? I really love him. I suspect he's a hidden dreamer.

D

Do you want to know why not, dad? 
Because I'm not talented enough.